SXSW

This mullet is almost as American as the Budweiser in his hand.

Seems like he had just the goofy college shag, then when he graduated, let just the bottom grow out.  GOOD LUCK GETTING A REAL JOB.

Nightclub

Like a mix between Billy Ray Cyrus and Vanilla Ice.  And he looks about as nervous as Billy Ray on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.

 

HEB

On his daily run to the drug shop...because there's no way one could be sober with a haircut like that.